{"id":1487,"date":"2014-04-13T04:04:15","date_gmt":"2014-04-13T04:04:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.micaminar.com\/en\/?p=1487"},"modified":"2014-04-24T23:43:28","modified_gmt":"2014-04-24T23:43:28","slug":"love-at-50-a-man-and-his-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.micaminar.com\/en\/love-at-50-a-man-and-his-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"A Man and His Dog ~ And Hazards of Love at 50"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"love-a-man-and-his-dog-\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This is a little story about love at 50. I started dating about seven years ago after the sudden and unexpected death of my dearly loved husband. After being married for two and a half decades, I felt like a dinosaur in the dating game in my late 40\u2019s. Without going in too much detail around \u2018The Dating Game\u2019 at this time, lets just fast forward to the age of 53 and dating \u201cThe Man and His Dog\u201d.<\/p>\n

I live in a very sweet neighborhood. It\u2019s quiet. People actually say \u201cGood Morning\u201d which is an anomaly in Miami Beach. But this particular neighborhood is for the people searching for a bit of that old-time living. We have Hassidic Jews, Latinos, wealthy and blue collar all mixed into the same area. I don\u2019t need to lock my doors. I love it! Melting pot Miami. In the dating game, that translates to dating Peru to Greece to New Zealand to half-Irish half-Crazy?!? \u00a0You\u2019re getting the picture right??<\/p>\n

\u00a0Art\u00edculo en \u00a0Espa\u00f1ol: Un Hombre y Su Perro<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Welcome \u2018Adventure USA\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

I like to take walks in the early evenings to stretch my back and break away from all the hours working on the computer. On one of these nights and many thereafter, I began to notice \u2018the men and their dogs\u2019 and began wondering about them. I would notice their faces and what kind of dogs they were walking. Like if the dog was snarly and unsociable or friendly and kind, or nappy and rude. At the same time, I was observing their owners. Who were these men??<\/p>\n

I began to wonder what kind of relationships these men were engaged in or were their primary relationships on 4 legs instead of 2? \u00a0Now the reason that my mind went to that inquisitive questioning was that not long before, I had dated a man and his dog and had formulated some theories around this peculiar arrangement.<\/p>\n

Now I am sure you have heard of \u2018The Infamous Cat Lady,\u2019 the classic, unmarried woman who lives with more than two cats.<\/p>\n

But no one ever talks about the man and his dog. I have observed that there are men out there, let\u2019s say for numbers sake, over the age of 45, who are single, hardworking or retired. They have also experienced the challenges of dating, long-term relationships, monogamy, divorce and are looking for a simpler life.<\/p>\n

Now I am not knocking them, because at the delicate age of 53, I completely understand where they are coming from. I too have endured my fair share of lust, love, joy, sorrow, heart-break, pain and the endless pursuit of growing \u00a0up!<\/p>\n

So the driving desire for a simpler existence within the throes of love is a theme that I not only share, but one that many of my single girlfriends in the same age group share as well. We are all so tired and exhausted!!<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen\u2019s it going to be easy? Haven\u2019t we paid our dues already? \u00a0Haven\u2019t we healed our Gd-dmned Karma!?! Can\u2019t I finally meet Prince Charming or Princess Charming and live happily ever after??\u201d<\/p>\n

I think folks are moving way too fast. I was going to say life is moving too fast. But that\u2019s a cliche and life isn\u2019t the one running around like a cracked-out chicken. We are. We\u2019re the creators, the problem and the solution.<\/p>\n

In a world of multi-interconnectedness, we are now vastly open to being hit with information upside, downside and underside with no place to run or hide! The temptation to connect to it all is too compelling.<\/p>\n

So here we are floating or more like zipping in motion world overload and then we meet someone \u201cNEW.\u201d \u00a0Don\u2019t forget we\u2019re seasoned, cooked, done.<\/p>\n

\u201cWE ARE LOOKING FOR A SIMPLER LIFE.\u201d \u00a0And I am talking about my brethren brothers and sisters as well.<\/p>\n

So where am I going with all of this and how do the men with their dogs fit in this picture?<\/p>\n

As unethical as this may seem, I started sleeping with my landlord. I didn\u2019t really plan for this. I have been his tenant for over two years. I have also hung out with his ex-wife and do like her. \u00a0Interestingly enough, he has a dog, a bit high strung and anxious, but very friendly. It\u2019s kind of like him. He seemed a lot to handle, not the dog.<\/p>\n

But I always found him charming and a bit attractive. Then one day early in our tenant\/landlord relationship, I wanted to have my bedroom air conditioning unit replaced. \u00a0It was like a freight train running through my room! \u00a0Anyways, he was a pain in my neck! All of a sudden, I was painted as the perpetual spoiled, whining princess. (Ok..maybe my sister did nickname me Princess Di as a child\u2026 but still!) He was cheap and resistant! \u00a0My four brother-in-laws said they were going to help me sue him or at the very least break his legs! \u00a0I \u00a0was quickly \u00a0turned off to his Uruguayan (not the real country) good looks and sexy accent by this new development.<\/p>\n

That episode was two years ago. He kept his legs and finally did help me change out the unit. So I forgave him. \u00a0After all, he was still a charming latin man and I was still a libidinous sexually-awake woman.<\/p>\n

So after working this particular summer in beautiful Nantucket, I arrived back to find him hanging around my building. He had another apartment there that he was involved in renovating. And that\u2019s where the trouble began. FLIRTING started.<\/p>\n

I started thinking that he was kind of cute, and reminded me of that 1960\u2019s cartoon character, the skunk called Pep\u00e9 Le Pew who was funny, charming, philandering, yet absolutely irresistible and loveable!<\/p>\n

Now, it is not that I was hoping Pierre (not his real name) carried these same philandering, roving-eye tendencies. But he definitely had the same irresistible qualities. I was drawn in like a fly to crap.<\/p>\n

He finally invited me for tea at his place and we had a sweet time. He made me a simple lunch. We shared some nice conversation and then he invited me into his bedroom to watch some comedy sitcoms which was one of his favorite pastimes. I found it kind of quick to be invited to lie down in a bed. But then again, I have been dating for seven years. \u00a0That alone should give you an idea of how much I have seen. \u00a0So I did, not lie down but sort of sat up and watched sitcoms and laughed. It was a good time.<\/p>\n

At this early stage in the game, I was not really sure why he had me over. He had never expressed anything I could even remotely read into. You can flirt with anybody.<\/p>\n

Ugh Men! They think they\u2019re simple. \u00a0I think they\u2019re backwards.<\/p>\n

I did not know if he had invited me over as a friend, a colleague (we both have spiritual practices) or as a potential lover, friend with benefits, \u00a0possible getting to know you or like you relationship??<\/p>\n

By the second time visiting him, I got my answer. \u00a0It was not as romantic as I would have preferred, but that\u2019s another story. Let\u2019s just say sparks flew and the connection worked. My libido was singing \u2018Hallelujah\u2019!<\/p>\n

After our \u2018intimate fun\u2019, conversation came up and I shared that I was not ready for anything serious since I had just ended a complicated one year \u2018friends with benefits relationship\u2019 that supposedly should NOT have been complicated. Right. Tell it to the hand cuz the face ain\u2019t listening!<\/p>\n

Anyways, I stated that I was open to the notion of \u00a0\u2018a lover\u2019. \u00a0That always sounds way more romantic and wistful and plus, I am 53. \u00a0A lover.. how exotic, how mature, how convenient. But for arguments sake and for the younger more hip generation, let\u2019s just call it friends with benefits.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not give this new fling a shot?\u201d<\/p>\n

So where does the dog come in to all this? \u00a0It\u2019s not like the dog slept in the same bed with us, or licked my toes or anything. \u00a0But the DOG is a very vital piece.<\/p>\n

At my second rendezvous with my hot latin fling, we got into another conversation. \u00a0I asked him about his dog. He told me how important his dog was to him. \u00a0And how the dog\u2019s entrance into his life was an act of Grace. \u201cIt saved my life,\u201d he said. I admired his honesty, kindness and the devotion and love he felt for his dog. \u00a0There was a definite big bond here. And that had to be a good sign that he was so devoted to something.<\/p>\n

I shared how I had observed in the recent past how a few men who had gotten so close to their dogs ended up not having any room for anyone else. \u00a0Not only that, but I noticed these particular men seemed to have real trouble relating to a human (I mean a woman) emotionally. \u00a0You know, it\u2019s like they got stunted somewhere. He seemed jolted as if the hand of God had slapped him in the face! \u201cUh oh,\u201d I thought. \u201cThis is not a good sign.\u201d \u00a0I could see his head going back over his recent past and its myriad characters. I HAD struck a nerve.<\/p>\n

Now I am not a judgmental person, except when I need to be. So I decided to see if maybe I was wrong in all my theoretical pinning and this guy would show me how mature, emotionally connected and communicative he could be to someone who could actually talk back to him.<\/p>\n

He said how much he loved his simple life with no complications, easy coasting, just him and his dog. \u00a0No dramas.<\/p>\n

Yet, he also shared how open he was to being partnered again in life as long as it was the right fit. Right! \u00a0The more I hung out with him, the more it felt like he was not looking for a real relationship, but instead, another dog!<\/p>\n

A real relationship is where you get called on your crap. You get triggered. You compromise. You work at things. You get your BS beaten out of you! You know\u2026REAL\u2026.Grown Up\u2026.Fun\u2026.. Loving\u2026Complicated\u2026..Complex\u2026.Emotional\u2026.FEELINGS!!! \u00a0Not a \u201cOh, I love you!!\u201d Woof Woof, me too!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis story is new,\u201d I rationalized. \u201cHe is going away for a good month to visit his family in Uruguay.\u201d I wondered if I would hear from him. Ten days into his trip abroad, \u00a0I got an email. The message read as, \u201cWe miss Miami, We miss seeing you! We send you a kiss.\u201d Uhhhhhh???? \u00a0The dog and you?? You both miss me? You both send me a kiss?? Did your dog actually ask you to do that?? \u00a0Oh brother, oh mother! I could see me slowly losing hope in this fling ever amounting to anything but a little bubble in time with a hot latin lover.<\/p>\n

These Men. Their dogs.<\/p>\n

Is there hope for this one???<\/p>\n

Will he drop the \u2018We\u2019 and become an \u2018I\u2019?<\/p>\n

Or will he grow to become another sweet, little old guy walking his aging dog around a quiet neighborhood living \u00a0a simple life?<\/p>\n

~To be continued\u2026.<\/p>\n

~Madame Sassy~ AKA Rebecca Justo<\/p>\n

\u00a0Note from Blanca, founder of Mi Caminar: Rebecca (a.k.a \u00a0as Beki to her friends and I) has been my best friend since we were 12 years old. She told me this story and she made me laugh so much, that \u00a0I told her to write about it. So here it is! Her first ever blog post! And get ready for more fun and adventures :)\u00a0~ Blanca Stella<\/em><\/p>\n

You can find her on her website: <\/span>Rebecca Justo<\/a>\u00a0or on her <\/span>Facebook page<\/a>. She is an incredible healer. Check it out from the bio below. \u00a0I can vouch for that!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a little story about love at 50. I started dating about seven years ago after the sudden and unexpected death of my dearly loved husband. After being married for two and a half decades, I felt like a dinosaur in the dating game in my late 40\u2019s. Without going in too much detail […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1325,"url":"https:\/\/www.micaminar.com\/en\/celebrating-life-by-taking-the-route-of-the-turtle\/","url_meta":{"origin":1487,"position":0},"title":"Celebrating Life By Taking The Route of The Turtle","author":"Blanca Stella","date":"December 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Two nights ago, I was out at a holiday party with some friends. 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