Life is a journey that takes us through winding paths to discover many lessons. Imagine that the lessons are like prizes in the form of golden nuggets through words of wisdom at a crossroads on our path.
Sometimes we end up in certain situations that create negativity or heaviness which prevent us from seeing the golden nugget of wisdom hanging right above our heads. Maybe the key is just as simple as taking a moment to grab the nugget and see what the lesson is.
Examining this wisdom contained within it might give us that “AHA” moment that gives us a burst of energy and upliftment and a sudden realization of why this path was necessary to embark on.
En Español: Sabiduria Por El Medio de La Perla
Looking back at my life, I may have lingered too long in some heavy and confused places. Life has taught me to take the time to open up to the words of wisdom that await so near. I find it gives me a clearer direction much quicker with purpose and renewed energy.
Now, I am not always sure if that AHA is wisdom or not. It is simply a good feeling that gives me an internal green light to move ahead in a certain direction. Or sometimes, out of the blue, I will get a symbol or a sign. I will never know what is the “perfect” answer. Wisdom in my opinion is humbly learning our lessons, embracing them and making a change for the better.
As an example, let’s say that someone betrayed your trust. And you go on and on with all kinds of negative thoughts in your mind wondering why you were so trusting to that person or so naive. (Yes I have done this myself many times). And you drive yourself to a maddening frenzy until it completely depletes you and even those around you.
My suggestion is to not linger in it for too long and ask the following to yourself:
“What is this experience teaching me and is this experience a catalyst that will take me to a better direction. And if so, where?”
And then give yourself time in a quiet space for at least an hour or even better, a whole day if possible, and simply listen to the answer – No TV, cell phone, internet, texting, Facebook, music. Just silence. And the hardest part is to trust that the AHA moment will come. After all, it was a betrayal of trust. So how can we trust for the answer from some unknown and intangible source?
The best way I have been able to do this is to wish the other person well and detach myself emotionally from the situation. I am not detaching from my own feelings. Just taking an observant posture so I can look at the bigger picture — my lesson, my nuggets, my words of wisdom. This way, I am combining the heart by quietly processing it and feeling it out on my own and using the mind to analyze the situation. And I am actually giving myself the gift of time to grab a piece of the golden nugget in this temporary jagged path I am temporarily entangled in. Hopefully later, I can pay forward the lesson to a friend in need or even the perpetrator of this betrayal of trust if that opportunity opens.
Yes, it hurts and it is not easy. It might take a while and several tries. But keep at it. It’s better than lingering too long in the heaviness. It is not really our job to teach the other person a lesson. They may not even think there is lesson to be learned. So why waste our time trying to change another person? We can only seek to find our own lessons. It’s simply a more gentle way to bring more peace. And by making a change, we might be breaking an old dysfunctional reactive pattern and helping the other person indirectly to break it as well.
So, how do you process your feelings of betrayal of trust from another person? I am not certain this is the best or right way. It is just my perspective as I try to age more gracefully;)