Last weekend, I was at a celebration of my high school 50 year anniversary. While I was dancing, someone came up to me and said, “ I remember you!” I looked at her trying to remember who she was since she was not one of my classmates, but from a year older than me. It’s been 35 years and as I continued to fire up my memory cells, she said, “ What I remember is that you were very genuine. And I bet you still are.”
Artículo en Español: El Nuevo Yo
“What’s your name?” I asked her still struggling to remember. “Sophie.” she replied. I then got a glimpse of a memory of having a conversation with her at one time or another. Dumbfounded, I hugged her and said that it was one of the nicest things that someone has ever said to me.
As I thought about her words which deeply touched my heart, I looked back at my life especially in the past several years where my life has made some radical changes and discovering a new me or better parts of me, I thought of difficulties that I have had with other people. Previously, I was the type of person that kept quiet for the sake of peace. The kind of peace to not make any waves but underneath rumbles still exist. I wrote about this in a post about letting go of people close to me as a necessary step in my journey of self assertion and self esteem.
I have been more outspoken now and self assertive of what I think and feel when something seems wrong or off balance. It is not always a good thing. But still, I think it’s important in most cases.
A few months ago, I saw one of these people that I no longer have a connection with. She said she wanted the “old me” back. It was the second time I reached out to her in the hopes of having a dialogue. Unfortunately, her lifestyle doesn’t permit it because she is too busy. I don’t take it personal because that is just how she is. The old me would have sent her a couple of emails and texts to try to make the friendship work.
So from her perspective, I am not being me- the old me. But the way I look at it, I am being true to myself and simply being honest and valuing my own self worth. As we grow older and let go of parts of ourselves that no longer serve us, this causes a disruption to the people that it once did. And with the letting go, sometimes we get a backlash and projections from them that make us feel bad because they can’t embrace the better person we have become.
So I would like to say that I am still genuinely me, but just different, with parts of the new me and the old me. It is a more balanced and empowered version of me. The core of me, the genuine and imperfect parts of me, are always there and has always been there. And it is still available for my friend if she so chooses. I am far from perfect. I am simply striving to be better every day.
Life is not easy. But it is a wonderful challenging experience to discover the true you…the genuine you. Has this happened to you? If so, how do you deal with embracing the better part of you? Have you found a new you?